How’s your Inner Critic?
Following on from last month’s blog ‘Courage or confidence?’ I had a great question from a coach about fear. Not only his clients but his own. It prompted me to think more about fear associated with taking action. Is it fear or something else?
Posted in Self development
What stops us taking action? Often it’s an inner voice. The words might be ‘I’m not ready yet’ or ‘I’ve got nothing to add here’, ‘I’m just not good at it’.
Some coach training schools or others call it ‘your inner critic’, ‘the gremlin’. There are many other names. It’s that inner voice that can stop us if we choose to listen to it. It’s not really us but that inner voice. It can come from childhood, cultural conditioning, or its just our primal brain kicking in to protect us.
In her book ‘Playing Big’ Tara Mohr calls it ‘the Inner Critic’.
If we find our inner critic is stopping us doing what we’re striving to do, what can we do?
Firstly, recognise that inner voice, notice when it kicks in? what does it say? Write it down.
Interestingly & according to Tara, women have more self-doubt around:
Some coach training schools or others call it ‘your inner critic’, ‘the gremlin’. There are many other names. It’s that inner voice that can stop us if we choose to listen to it. It’s not really us but that inner voice. It can come from childhood, cultural conditioning, or its just our primal brain kicking in to protect us.
In her book ‘Playing Big’ Tara Mohr calls it ‘the Inner Critic’.
If we find our inner critic is stopping us doing what we’re striving to do, what can we do?
Firstly, recognise that inner voice, notice when it kicks in? what does it say? Write it down.
Interestingly & according to Tara, women have more self-doubt around:
- Financial work & decisions
- Negotiation
- Leadership
For men the self-doubt is more likely around:
- Emotional
- Relational
- Communication
Our inner critic is hardwired to keep us ‘safe’. From those days when we were hunters or being hunted. Useful but not so when we’re in an office! However you can override your inner critic;
- Notice it
- Listen to it
- What does it say?
- Can you name him/her? E.g. ‘presentation judge’, ‘headmaster’, ‘gremlin’. Visualise him or her?
- Have a conversation with him/her e.g. ‘I hear you but I’m well prepared, relaxed and good to go. Thanks & bye’
- See him/her walking out of the room.
Remember your inner critic is going to be loud when you’re out of your comfort zone! Don’t fight it but also don’t let it takeover.
So how do you know if it’s your inner critic or the realistic thinker within you? Rather like the critical parent or nurturing parent in Transactional Analysis – if the voice is anxious or critical – it’s likely to be your inner critic. If it’s thoughtful and questioning then it’s likely the latter. Notice the tone.
Remember you would never speak to a small child the way you speak to yourself!
For more Tara Mohr ‘Playing Big’.
Join my facebook group ‘Be More – Play Bigger’ for discussion, support.
Please feel free to contact me at Claire@cpcoaching.co.uk.
So how do you know if it’s your inner critic or the realistic thinker within you? Rather like the critical parent or nurturing parent in Transactional Analysis – if the voice is anxious or critical – it’s likely to be your inner critic. If it’s thoughtful and questioning then it’s likely the latter. Notice the tone.
Remember you would never speak to a small child the way you speak to yourself!
For more Tara Mohr ‘Playing Big’.
Join my facebook group ‘Be More – Play Bigger’ for discussion, support.
Please feel free to contact me at Claire@cpcoaching.co.uk.
About Claire
Claire is a highly experienced and accredited Coach & Coach Supervisor. Passionate about helping people with their purpose, career, work, life. Being fulfilled in this every changing world.
Recent posts
Get updates
Sign up for updates – and get a copy of Career Insights, my guide to kickstarting your career, free.
Get updates
Share this page