Daring Greatly

Posted 06 November 2012 in Self development

In a world where "never enough" has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive and uncomfortable. Brené explained how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation and creativity.

Louise is terrified of getting older, of her children leaving home, of being alone. These feelings scare her so much, she invents ways not to face her fears. Mostly, she lashes out at others for "making" her feel bad. She wonders why she has so few friends and can't find a mate.

Tom doesn't walk, he swaggers. He doesn't talk, he commands. When his children and friends head for the exit, he figures they just don't have the guts to handle such a big man. But he has an ulcer and he can't sleep. Lately, he's been having nightmares about being trapped. Deep, deep down, he's afraid he's really a little man after all.

It hurts to admit we are vulnerable. For so many of us, it means we are weak, helpless and open to attack by others or by whatever life throws at us. Our culture sometimes demands that we be strong, so we try our best to hide our fears and cover up our weak spots. We don't want to be seen as failures.

Often, we believe that keeping a stiff upper lip will keep us strong. We hold a tight lid on our fears and pain, but in doing so, we also cover up and lose touch with our feelings. This, in turn, shields our hearts and separates us from our connection to humanity.

It is often only by facing our vulnerable places -- not covering them up or running from them -- that we come out the other side. As Brené Brown's research has shown, only by being vulnerable can we dare greatly. Being vulnerable hasn't been very popular in our society, but this is changing. Words such as "humility" and "gratitude" and "forgiveness" are being used more frequently. They are terms that show a cultural shift towards accepting all human traits.

Being vulnerable comes easier to some than others. Here are some ways to explore being vulnerable:

• Be honest with yourself.
• Look for deeper reasons or motives for your own behavior. Take responsibility for your behavior.
• Take a risk. Start by letting someone you trust know your weak places.
• Be willing to listen to honest feedback.
• Accept the fact that you have emotions and find words to talk about it.
• Accept that you make mistakes. That's part of being human.

As Brené Brown shares, Be Vulnerable or Dare Greatly, and who knows what's possible.